A Simple Way to Date Women
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
If you want to make the process of dating women made simple, you first have to stop complicating it. Most men over-analyze everything. They will wonder what she meant when she said something or wrote something in an e-mail or instant message.
The first step to the dating process is finding a woman that meets your realistic criteria. What “realistic” means is that if you want a woman who looks like a swimwear model, but you have a beer belly, are a couch potato and don’t have a college degree and a career, you’re not going to attract that kind of woman unless you provide her with a really interesting alternative.
An attractive woman who is fun, interesting, and has her act together is never short of suitors.
The next step in dating women is to make sure she is someone that you want to get to know. You shouldn’t date any woman just because of her physical appearance. It’s important, but no matter how pretty a woman is, any man will eventually get used to it.
She should share the same values and have similar beliefs and you should feed off of your differences. When you behave and talk in a way that indirectly let’s her know that it takes a lot more than a pretty face to keep your attention, you’ll find that she will actually try harder to get your attention. And that’s what you want.
You should always judge a person by their actions, not what they say. So if a woman tells you she likes you, but she keeps standing you up, that’s a red flag. If a woman says that wants to be more serious with you, but she continues going out with her girlfriends without inviting you, then she’s not ready for a serious relationship.
You should always look at a woman’s actions. If you two are having dinner and her cell phone rings and she answers it in the middle of dinner, then that’s another red flag.
When I first talk to women on the phone I like to tell them a short story on how I went on this date recently. I share how we were having dinner and that the woman’s cell phone rang and she immediately answered it. I explain how I thought it was rude. So now the new woman in my life knows that I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior.
Generally, this is how the process will go. You will meet someone either online or offline, obtain her contact information, wait a couple of days and then call or e-mail her.
Even in the digital age, you want to get her on the phone before you go out on a date. This why you will get to see if there is any phone chemistry. If you can’t even have a good 15 minute conversation over the phone, why bother meeting in person?
Once you have qualified her over the phone you can either set up the date right then and there or wait until the next time. For first dates I usually have them meet me at a public place first. I don’t pick them up and I don’t have them come over my place. They are a stranger and I have no idea who they are yet.
During the date you should make your decision on whether or not you want to see her again. If you don’t, say your goodbyes. If she contacts you let her know that it was nice meeting her and that it’s best that both of you move on.
If she doesn’t contact you after a few days, then call her and tell her the same thing. It’s the right thing to do. But if she’s someone you would like to see again, let her know toward the end of the date. You don’t want to waste your time.
You want to find out before you separate where you stand because if she doesn’t feel the same as you do, then it’s best to know that now. Be on the look out for ambiguous answers. If you tell her you’d like to see her again and she responds with “we’ll see”, don’t accept that as an answer.
You are not looking for a committed relationship this early on, but you’ll want to let her know that you will not tolerate games.
So when I hear “we’ll see” I like letting women know that I’m not a doormat and that I value my time. So I don’t put up with any games and I want to communicate that.
So my response to that is simple: “Well, tell you what. I really enjoyed our time that we spent together and would like to see you again. But if you don’t know if you’d like to see my again then I’d appreciate an answer other than ‘we’ll see’ since that’s the kind of stuff I used to hear in high school.
If the answer is still “we’ll see” then I know you’re playing games and I’m not about that. So if you had a good time and would like to do it again give me a call. If I never hear from you again, it’s ok, I’m a big boy. Besides, I have no problems meeting women. But I’d prefer to hang out again. So whaddya say?”
That response has worked like gold for me because if she doesn’t like what I have to say then I KNOW without a doubt she is not the right woman for me. If she likes what I have to say then I know she’s interested. But more important than that she knows she’s dealing with a real man who will not fall for any of her games. And this is probably the most important point of this article.
This makes dating a lot more simple because now you’ve either weeded out the flakes or you’ve found the right girl to pursue a more committed relationship.
